14th/15th April 2012 - Horses for Courses?

It was Grand National weekend, I've never really followed horse racing in any kind of way, though I know it is regarded as "the sport of kings" I more widely associate it with old men falling out of bookies wearing grubby, grey, diamond patterned jumpers (regardless of the time of year) and carrying cans of extra strong lager (regardless of the time of day) They don't appear to be of royal lineage. That probably says more about where I'm from than horse racing as a sport but it's been a sufficient deterrent for my interest.

The Grand National seems to be some portal however where everyone, prince to pauper, should be involved. This is made no more clear than it dominating BBC's Saturday TV schedule and one of my senior managers shaking a plastic jar at me and charging me £2 to pull out the name of a horse that for all I know he's completely made up (mental note: Try that myself next year). If I had a horse I'd call it "John" or "Rob" or something, just a normal bloke's name, even if it was a mare, no, ESPECIALLY if it was a mare, none of this "Purple Blunderbuss III" nonsense.

As I watched it (and I think it was the first time I ever had), my oldest daughter (7) after a few fences and tumbles and horses aimlessly continuing the race with no riders said "this is cruel" which I thought was quite an emotive comment from her. I know in some circles this is regarded as the case, that horse racing is cruel. I saw a horse that we had taken a shine to "Synchronised" had died after fracturing his legs in the race (before hand he had somehow evaded his rider and was freely running around until caught and calmed for the race which the family found entertaining) I see they argue that it's not cruel as horses love running and jumping. That's a rubbish argument, I love playing my PS3, would I love it so much if I was forced to play a particular game whilst ridden and whipped by a small man in a gaudy coloured jacket as other blokes also ridden by little men jumped over the back of my sofa, sometimes landing on me wearing metal shoes? I can imagine not so much. Another argument was that horses jump and break their legs outside of racing. An argument I'll remember should I ever find my self defending a murder rap. "your honour, he would have died at some point anyway if I hadn't done it so I bid for immediate release.”

It wasn't all doom and gloom as we rolled into Sunday and I prepared to watch my beloved Aston Villa on my laptop. No wait it WAS all doom and gloom as they slumped to another defeat by the end of which I had already stopped watching to clean out my daughters' guinea pigs, it's time to start questioning the team when guinea pig droppings are deemed respite from the match and when you consider watching your team on a foreign stream akin to watching your best mate tortured to death on a terrorist network, really awful.

This all said I must remain resolute as I have children to indoctrinate/ brainwash to the cause. My four year old daughter came to a match this season (We lost, 4-2 to Chelsea) but she really enjoyed it, it took the sting out of defeat as I marched back to the car with her on my shoulders still proudly clutching her new pink Villa scarf and waving a rather large Aston Villa flag. Even the grumbling fellow home fans smiled as they saw her steadfast support and refusal to let simple things like being pathetic and losing dent her spirit. It didn't take the sting out of my shoulders, back and legs however, holding her up to see for the whole match and parking so far away were errors with retrospect.