Been looking for a new job for a few weeks, I do have a job, I've had a job with a company for 8 years. Actually I've had a job since I was old enough to drag a ten megaton bag of the free press* up and down the wealthier side of my area whilst listening to my dad's old tape cassette single of MC Hammer's "Yo!! Sweetness" on repeat on a beat up white (with black tape in critical places) portable cassette player. I'd call it a "walkman" but to do so would offend Sony so greatly I'd probably have a lawsuit on my hands. If I remember rightly the player used to be my dad's and he'd got a better one, that probably wasn't difficult. There were some plus sides to it though, it had a radio on it so should the incessant yells of "Yo Sweetness! Is my weakness!" (radio edit and boilerhouse remix) grow tiresome or the cramping in my legs was so great I couldn't do "the running man" if I tried I could listen to perhaps a fuzzy version of the news or some sport and it was made before (or in spite of) companies deciding that they should probably limit the volume as deafened listeners/ customers will have no need for the next model.
Honestly I would crank it up to a point where it could have been any song in the world playing and it sounded like King Kong roaring at you and clapping you about the head on both sides in time to what might possibly have been music. Did the job though, took my mind off the sore, ink blackened fingers from posting papers through snapping letterboxes, the fact that I was sweating whilst it wasn't particularly warm and drowned out the angry dogs who it would seem weren't over keen on the free press, can't see why, it's free after all.
A good many years on though I'm not looking for a paper round, I'm spreading my wings and looking for something better suited to the skill sets I've developed (hark at me) and because my employers are self-important gits with no respect for my welfare and who have gravely misjudged my ability and contribution, not that I'm bitter of course.
I have a 42 mile round trip to work and "for business reasons" which haven't really been disclosed to me (because I know full well that the "reason" is merely the request of some almighty "God-Manager") my hours have been changed from 8-4 to 12-8, with the hour it takes me to get in and out of work I will rarely see my kids (particularly the 2 at school) and barely see my wife. After raising this issue the conversation went: (through the medium of my line manager of course, should a God-Manager himself speak to me I would surely be reduced to ash and dust in the wind!)
Me: But I won't see my family
Line Manager: Make a counter-proposal they (the God-Managers on high) may come around.
##I write an A4 sheet on why these hours don't make sense from a business standpoint and will be so detrimental to my family, particularly my wife who will in effect become a single mother of three and how I'll be forced to leave should the hours be put in place##
Line Manager: ....The role hours stand.
Me: So what happens if I refuse to work those hours?
Line Manager: That's where the role is going.
Me: Then I'll be actively seeking alternative employment.
Line Manager: OK.
"OK". After working for a supposedly "family friendly" company for 8 years, this particular contract for 5, I'm probably the only person on site who can do anything with a computer beyond make a colourful table and my potential departure is dismissed with "See ya!" I guess unemployment being what it is who am I but an easily replaced goldfish? Flush me, get the kids a new one, they'll never even know.
It's most annoying as I feel almost scoffed at by the God-Managers, to spend time with family is obviously a sacrifice they made some time ago, to work all the hours sent a week for exorbitant wages and flash company cars, I'd much rather ask my kids about their day, put them to bed and them know who I am than how much I can buy them and why their house is so big.
It's not the end of the world though, I'm relatively young, confident in my own ability and truth be told I'd outgrown my current role some time ago, I was just a mix of loyal, comfortable and lazy. Now I've been forced to do something I should already have been doing.
My fantastic wife has been the driving force, she's all over my CV urging me to say I'm Champion of the World, Master of the Universe, slayer of the wicked, defender of the weak..... I personally would have gone for the brutally honest route "I have a degree with computamajigs and can do stuff with big numbers well" but apparently her way is what everyone does. She seems to know best, I've not gone for a job for years, for all I know nowadays applicants must fight to the death gladiator style (in suit and tie of course) and there are so many applicants for every job she's put me in for this recruitment process would probably be more popular than you would think (it would also cut unemployment figures if the Government is reading this)
After a few knockback e-mails saying "if you don't hear anything from us, we don't want you" and then e-mails saying "yeah, we don't want you. We will keep your CV though just in case someone in HR decides to write a fictional novel and is short of random character names" my confidence buckled. We'd discussed other opportunities, me starting a business idea I'd thought of, but even in desperation I don't know if I'm brave enough to do that, or me being a stay at home dad, it'd be great to have all that time with the kids, but I've worked all my life, my dad has always worked, even when his health meant he couldn't do what he'd done since he could work he looked for another job. A friend said that his dad says "It's always easier to get a job when you're in a job" when I told him of my predicament, Ironically his dad helped get me a job opening boxes when I was 16 (when I'd hung up my dayglo, free press bag).
Since then I've had a couple of call backs and I'm being penned in for an interview with a big company with a local plant soon. So this goldfish needs a haircut and new suit, a considerably larger suit than the one I wore to my last interview.... and perhaps a sword and shield?
*Ironically I never received the free press myself.
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