1st of May 2012 – Seconds Out, Round Two

I've been offered a second interview! I'd waited to the point where honestly I was thinking that either I was so poor in the 1st interview that they couldn't even be bothered to tell me they hated me or there had been some massacre occur there by an unstable interviewee after Penfold had given him a funny look, or a REALLY angry Villa fan who thought that perhaps Barry-A-Like looked a little too Barry like. It turns out they want me to go back in for round two though (ding ding).

I've also been offered another interview with a different company that has thus far made me jump through hoops to apply. My initial application with CV and cover letter was met with an online questionnaire, passing this I then had to complete two reasoning tests by an outsourced company online, then I had to retrieve the Holy Grail and uncover the secrets of the Philosopher's Stone. OK, I didn't have to do the last two but I would sincerely hope that when I arrive for this interview they will tell me that the job description advertised was a ruse and I will actually be operating on Her Majesty's Secret Service and issued a PP9 pistol and an agent number.

It's hard work this getting a job lark, no wonder people opt to drink cans of Stella outside the Job Centre in tracksuit bottoms, I always thought they were perennial dole dossers, now I know they are steeling themselves with Dutch courage before returning to "the front"…..That or they're perennial dole dossers.

Work's busy, my manager's off sick. Righty, Lefty and I addressed one of those "world is going to end" work issues, Righty in his usual cynical opinion reckons our manager will take the plaudits for our work as he rang to see how it was going, I say cynical, he's probably right. Our manager is one of those who will spout "think outside the box!" it's one of the things that puts me off my job. I don't like to think outside the box, I like the box, if the box didn't work then there wouldn’t be a box at all probably just a bunch of hippies working on the fly who'd wind up killing themselves with their own stupidity. I can't wait to leave. I hope it sticks and twists a hole where I have left and it all comes crashing down. I know that sounds bitter but that is because I've been as good as told that I either don't have the bottle to leave or that I have no value and they'd rather I leave .... and because I'm bitter.